Rajnikanth stories volume II

1. Rajanikanth is being chased by a gangster. Rajanikanth has a revolver but he has no bullets in it. He waits for the gangster to shoot. As soon as the gangster shoots, Rajanikanth opens the bullet compartment of his revolver and catches the bullet. Then, he closes the bullet compartment and fires his gun. Bang... And the gangster dies....This was too much for our Newton to take and he was completely shaken and he decided to go back to his grave. But he happened to see a movie for one last timeand thought that at least one movie will follow his theory of physics. The whole movie goes fine and Newton is happy that all in the world hasn't changed. Oops not so fast. The Climax finally arrives. Rajanikanth gets to know that the villain is on the other side of a very high wall. So high that even Rajanikanth can't jump even if he tries like one of those superman techniques that our heroes normally use. Rajanikanth has to desperately kill the villain because its the climax. (Newton dada is smiling since it is virtually impossible)..Rajanikanth suddenly pulls two guns from his pocket (Probably a backup). He throws one gun in the air and when the gun has reached the height of the wall,he shoots at the trigger of the first gun in air, with his second gun. Now the first gun fires off and the villain is dead. Newton commits Suicide.
2. Rajnikanth was bragging to Amitabh Bachan one day, "You know, I know everyone. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them. Tired of his boasting, Amitabh Bachan called his bluff, "OK, Rajini how about Tom Cruise?"   
   "Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it" Rajini said.
   
   So Rajini and Amitabh Bachan fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door,
   
   And sure enough, Tom Cruise shouts : "Thalaiva! Great to see you! You And your friends come right in and join me for lunch!"
   
   ...Although impressed, Amitabh Bachan is still skeptical. After they leave Cruise's house, he tells Rajini that he thinks Rajini knowing Cruise was Just lucky.
   
   "No, no, just name anyone else" Rajini says
   
   ..."President Obama", Amitabh Bachan quickly retorts
   
   ..."Yes", Rajini says, "I know him.
   
   And off they go. At the White House, Obama spots Rajini on the tour and motions him, saying, : "Rajini, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let's have a cup of coffee first and catch up".
   
   Well, Amitabh Bachan is much shaken by now, but still not totally onvinced. After they leave the White House grounds, he implores him to name anyone else.
   
   "The Pope," Amitabh Bachan replies
   
   ..."Sure!" says Rajini, "My folks are from Italy and I've known the Pope a long time".
   
   Rajini and Amitabh Bachan are assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when Rajini says, "This will never work. I can't catch the Pope's eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and I'll come out on the balcony with the Pope."
   
   And he disappears into the crowd headed toward the Vatican.. Sure enough, half an hour later Rajini emerges with the Pope on the balcony.
   
   But by the time Rajini returns, he finds that Amitabh Bachan has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics.
   
   Working his way to Amitabh Bachan's side, Rajini asks him, "What happened?"
   
   Amitabh Bachan looks up and says, "I was doing fine until u and the pope came out on the balcony and the Italian man next to me said, "Who's that on the balcony with Rajini?"
   
   
   
   
   
    

More Rajnikanth one liners here: http://sudiptophilosophy.blogspot.com/2010/11/rajnikanth-and-rajnikanth-andyou-get.html


Disclaimer: stories have been collected from all kinds of sources over the internet some of which are mentioned in the previous post